Confession #3: I Have a Hard Time Paying Attention

One of my favorite expressions from the internets is the term “Attention Whore.” It means exactly what it sounds like– someone who’ll do anything for attention.

Occasionally, I like attention. I may even be an Attention Whore at times. (And anyone who says they don’t like at least a little attention is full of shit.) But there are varying levels of attention: I like it when people laugh at my jokes, flatter my intelligence or looks, and invite me places; on the other hand, you’ll never catch me wearing Coke-can-rollers in my hair a’la Lady Gaga. (Horrified stares from complete strangers? Not my bag.)

This whole entry was about how attention and drama are not one and the same. About how some people spend an awful lot of time creating drama. And then I remembered that I’m trying to find something positive to say, here – or, if not something positive to say, then a way to take something positive from what is going on around me.

Whining about drama-mongers is a waste of positive energy. They suck. We don’t like them. ‘Nuff said.

The conundrum I face on a regular basis: I care so much about what other people think about me that I focus on myself until I can’t see the big picture. Then I get so annoyed at the details of other people’s drama that I forget to pay attention to myself.

One thing I do every day is read my horoscope and some news in Spanish. (Spanish is my second language, and God knows my communication skills could always use some polish.) One of my favorite horoscopes from Walter Mercado, Latin astrologer to the stars, told me (translated) “Don’t give anyone the permission to offend or humiliate you. Repeat a thousand and one times to yourself that no one in the world is better than you. Develop a second skin where everything negative bounces off you.” I’m trying to tell myself, every time people get to me, to worry more about myself than I worry about them.

Which leads me to today’s confession: that doesn’t always work. I get so overwhelemed by the big picture that, by the time I reach my goals (if I do), I just loose sight along the way. Life overwhelms me.

It seems contradictory, but if I could stay in the moment, I know I could see that the steps I'm taking toward the big picture are paying off.

I don't have a lot of followers, but if you'd like to comment, I'd appreciate tips or antecdotes on staying realistic and in the moment.